I Will Not Be Silent

I will not be silent, I will take a stance for life. I will love those who have already chosen death just as in my own sin Jesus chose to love me. But I refuse to be a bystander on the issue of killing innocent human beings. 

As I begin this post on Abortion I want to make it clear that my heart in this is love. Love for the innocent babies who are being killed, love for the woman who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and are stuck in fear, and love for the woman who have chosen to have an abortion and face the emotional heartache of it for the rest of their lives.

I know this subject is a very touchy one and I'm not writing this to convince you or start a debate, but I'm writing this because I want to be known for taking a stance for those who cannot take a stance for themselves. For fighting for life and for the things that break the heart of God.

Proverbs 31:8-9 "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice."

Is life defined by how big or small you are? Is life defined by how many weeks you've been alive? What defines life? Is a human being not made of 46 chromosomes? A sperm and an egg each have 23 chromosomes and when conception happens you now have 46 chromosomes, a human being who begins to grow.

For those of you who know me, or don't know me, just over two years ago I was faced with an unplanned pregnancy. I know the fear, I know the shame, I know the scare first hand. I've had my thoughts of abortion, I've had my thoughts of "What do I do?". But I also knew that inside my womb,  even at 5 weeks was a child, a human being, a baby who deserved life and rights just as much as I deserve life. Despite my own circumstance it was no longer just my body, it was two of us, two humans.

I don't understand how I can read in the news that people are making petitions to see 4th trimester abortion legalized. Truly, what has this world come to? When did we lose the significance and importance of life? When did it become okay to kill? I know that I am only one person and I cannot change the world or change abortion on my own, but I have heard the saying that what you wish you could do for the world, do for one. And I wish this was something that I could stop. That I could reach out to the hands of woman in fear who believe they have no other option, when truthfully they do. That I could be a voice for the innocent children who have no voice to speak their rights. That I could hold the woman who have had abortions and now secretly, quietly mourn the loss of what could have been?

I know I am only one, but with the voice I have, I will not be silent. I will take the stance, I will fight the fight. 

Little Hands & Little Feet

I am reminded today why I am so blessed to have children. I can say first hand it's not easy having two children under the age of 18 months, but it is so worth it. With sleepless nights, crying and tears, tantrums, and most often a dirty house it can get overwhelming at times. But with that also come the joy of little feet running down the hall, two little smiles that brighten up any day, giggles and laughter, little hands that reach up to me for a hug and snuggles, and small coos that make me melt.
Motherhood is hard, anyone who says its easy is fooling you. It's plain hard and messy. I'm only 22 years old and as I've said before many think I've given up on the joys of being young. It's true, I don't go out late anymore and if I do it's rare and usually means spending $50 before I even leave the house on a babysitter, I can't just randomly decide to go to a movie with my husband or friends, it takes a lot of planning, but this is all okay with me. I'm reminded that these little hands, little feet, little hearts, and two little children call me "Mother" and that to me is joy. I won't take that for granted for one day of this life I live.

I've learnt so much through being a parent about love, about sacrifice, about my need for self control, about trusting in The Lord, about patience, and about surrender. Often when we ask God for things like joy, strength, comfort or whatever it may be we think he doesn't answer or doesn't just give it to us. But I believe God gives us these things in many different ways, so take a look around and maybe the answer to your prayers is right in front of you.

When I look at my children, I know I have a lot to learn about being a mother and I also know I'll never be perfect. I'll make mistakes, I'll raise my voice, and I'll do the wrong thing sometimes. But by the Grace of God I will continue to grow and ultimately through this journey I will become more like Jesus and lead a life and example that gives Him the praise and glory.


I asked God for strength, and He made me weak so that I may rely on Him 
I asked God for joy and He gave me the gift of motherhood so I may learn to humble myself before Him 
I asked God for wisdom and He led me to His word so I may become more obedient and a better example to my children 
I asked God for freedom and He pointed me to the cross
I asked God for love and He stretched out his arms for me and took His last breath 
I asked God for patience and He gave me two children who need love and nurturing
I asked God for peace and He took away my shame with the sound of His name. 
And then I stood in awe of the King of Kings, my provider, the lover of my soul and all I could say was Thank You. Thank you for giving me exactly what I need when I don't even know what I need myself. You O God are faithful, and I place my trust in you. Thank you for my children: the little hands and little feet. In my weakness and failures help me to be the best mom I can be. 

No One Higher

Sometimes there aren't words to describe how you may feel. Sometimes life will throw you curve balls and you won't know what to say or do. Sometimes people disappoint you and this life leaves you uncertain.

Tonight as I opened my bible I was reminded that we don't always need answers or even words to speak. "The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." Romans 8:26  I was also comforted by the pure truth the Word of God provides, especially in a world where often the truth isn't spoken and honesty is limited. "Teach me your way, O Lord, That I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name." Psalm 86:11.

The last thing that I was reminded of tonight was probably one of the most important things I've been learning this year. I'll openly admit I'm not very good at putting it into practice but I am very much trying: When I feel down, confused, upset, or am battling something and I have no answers or words the greatest thing I can do is simply praise Jesus. Often when we linger in our sorrow, confusion or frustration we let satan have a foothold in our lives. I am by no means saying that it's a bad thing to be sad or upset, I'm just saying when that's all we can see or we let it totally consume us we get into trouble. I want to give Jesus all the glory and praise through every storm and in every day.

So just maybe you, whoever you are reading this, can be reminded like me that sometimes all we can do is Praise Jesus. I recently heard this song called "No One Higher" and it really resonated with me and helped me to refocus. I'll post the lyrics below and attach a link. No matter what you're going through in life may you always find the time to stop and worship the Most High God! With love and prayers, Maryse.            

                                             http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG68oaRkgGE

No One Higher 

Our Father, Creator

You hold our hearts together 

There's no one higher than you

Redeemer, Defender

Our great and mighty Saviour

There's no one higher than you 

You are always with us

Gracious to forgive us 

By your power we've been set free

And Lord we stand amazed in your presence

Astounded by your mercy and love 

Our hands are lifted high in surrender

Your grace for me is always enough

And there is no one higher than our God

There is no one greater than You

Let my life forever praise

The glory of your name 

There is no one higher than you 

Majestic in wonder

You reign with love forever 

There's no one higher than you

Your beauty, Your splendor

Your glory knows no measure 

There's no one higher than you

There is no one higher, no one greater, no one like our God

There is none more able, Christ our Savior, Great and Glorious. 

Trust in Trials

It's hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of becoming a family of four. This past year has been an incredible time of laughter, joy, and growth. Children truly are a gift from the Lord. I know speaking for both Peter and I we can't imagine our lives without Isaac. He lights up our every day, one smile from him can put everything into perspective. I've loved this past year as a family of three.

Last week I was put back on a partial bed rest with our second baby. I am truly grateful that I am not in the hospital this pregnancy and that I'm able to be home every night in the same bed as my husband and still able to kiss my sweet Isaac to bed. This in itself is worth the hardship of being off my feet and feeling quite useless/helpless at times. 

Today as I sat on the couch I put my hand on my stomach and just felt my baby move inside me. What a miracle babies and childbirth are. I know that so soon I'll be holding this second child in my arms.

Right now it's time for me to put my complete trust in the Creator's hands. After all, he created the heavens and the earth and all that's in it. Surely he holds my child in his hands as well and his timing will be perfect. 

My Purpose, My Dreams

What is my life? What is my purpose? Why am I here? What do I live and breathe for? What do I want my life to look like? What do I want my legacy to be? When I leave this world, what did I leave behind?

I believe these are questions that each and every person asks themselves at some point in their life. Some people choose to ignore these questions and just live. Others spend their whole life trying to figure them out. As for me, I know what my purpose is. I know why I'm here. I know what I live and breathe for.

My purpose here on earth is to love those around me. To share Jesus with them. Whether that be with my hands, my feet, my mouth, or even my eyes looking on people with compassion; that is why I'm here. I live and breathe to bring praise to the King of Kings, the Ancient of Days, Jesus. He doesn't just give my life meaning, He is my meaning. After all, He is the one who formed me in the womb, who knit me together, who knows the number of hairs on my head, who hears my every cry, who knows my every thought. He knows when I sit and when I stand, He is my creator.

Last night I was laying in bed, thoughts were running through my head before I dosed off to sleep. I think all my thoughts came down to this: Am I living out what I know my purpose is? Am I living whole heartedly for Jesus on a daily basis?

As I honestly reflected on this I recognize in my weakness that sometimes I fail to do this. Another part of me recognized last night that sometimes how I envision my life for Jesus isn't necessarily what He has in store for me. I have dreams, I believe we all do. I think we need to dream in life to keep vision and hope...but when we become so set on those dreams that we become closed off to what Jesus has for us in the today, then often we miss out on opportunities to share his love and truly live for Him.

I love to public speak, I love to spend time with the poor and needy, I love overseas missions and would love to do this in the future with my family. I love music and worship. I want to speak to thousands about Jesus' love for them and also impact their lives with offering my nursing skills. I want to advocate for youth who feel that they don't have a voice, and I want to hold the hands of those who feel alone. These are dreams of mine, all of which I believe are attainable and God given.

All of that being said, a part of me felt like I wasn't accomplishing any of these and I felt at a loss. But then in my Spirit I felt the Lord speak to me and remind me that my timing is not His timing but also that these dreams can be fulfilled every day. They may not look exactly how I envisioned them, at least for today, but they can be fulfilled. Let me explain...

One of the greatest things I will leave behind in this world, for a time being, is my children. Every day I have the opportunity to share Jesus with them, to teach them, to love them, to nurture them, and to simply live out my life for Jesus so that they may see Him. I get to hold their hands for a short time in this life, help dry their tears and also share in their laughter and growth. As their mother I will be one of their biggest influences in this world. With Jesus' grace and help I want to love them like He loves me.

Another way in which I get to live out these dreams is in my marriage. I have an amazing husband who works so hard for our family, who loves me and supports me. I get to hold his hand and heart throughout the rest of our lives. I am given an opportunity as his wife to be his main prayer support, companion, and to love him and respect him all the days of our lives. Don't get me wrong marriage isn't easy and anyone who tells you that it is, is lying to you. Marriage takes hard work, compromise, and giving. That being said, it is a gift like no other in this world. In a short year and half I have already grown as a woman and learnt so much about myself and about Jesus. Every day I'm learning how to love and respect my husband better, and I truly thank God for him and the life we have together.

So in light of all of these things I have written, I am finding a peace within my heart regarding my purpose in my life. I am a young wife and mother, at the age of twenty two I am married to my best friend, I have a beautiful son that is almost a year old, and in three more months I will hold our second child in my arms for the first time. Right now I can't be overseas speaking to thousands doing missions, and I'm still working on my nursing degree in the midst of having a young family. But with confidence I can say where I am is exactly where I want to be. Waking up every day beside my husband, getting kisses and snuggles from my little Isaac, and feeling the small kicks of my baby in my womb...not much beats that. When at school I have the opportunity to share Jesus with those who I study with. In nursing I get to hold the hands of the sick and hopefully not only help them with their physical needs, but be the hands and feet of Jesus and His good news. I get to cry with my patients and pray with them through their struggles. I have the opportunity to bless people at the grocery store when I'm running errands with my son. Since I am so blessed with a husband who provides for our family while I'm in school and raising our kids I get times throughout the day where it's simply quiet and I can pray for him, for our children, and for our world that is so greatly in need of a Saviour.

Truly I am living my dreams! I am doing my best to live out what I know my purpose is in this life. I don't want to take even one day for granted. I want to live each day to the fullest, even when that looks like being home all day changing diapers, making a meal for my husband, and playing with my son. This life is short, every day is a gift and an opportunity. I don't want to waste a single day dreaming of only the future when I can make a difference today. So one day at a time I will try and remind myself of all of these things, living them out to the best of my ability, giving Jesus the praise and glory all the way.

For truly, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" James 1:17 "And we know that in all things God works for the good for those who love him, who have been called according to His purposes"Romans 8:28

Take All Of Me

This is a song I wrote a long time ago and just had it on my heart

So many faces I sought

For comfort, wisdom 

I thought, they would heal my broken heart 

So many tears that I cried

But they were all full of pride

I was a hopeless soul they'd say

One day I saw the light

I had to give up the fight 

To have it all in my hands

Take all of me

Break these chains

All my reckless efforts 

to survice

Make me all yours

Beautiful, though scarred 

I'm nothing without you Lord

Take all that I am 

Isaacs First Time At The Zoo

Today Peter and I took Isaac to the Calgary Zoo for the first time! It was so great to spend family time and Isaac had lots of giggles for the animals! We look forward to many other trips to the Zoo. But enjoy some photos below!! 

Miracles DO happen

Hello,

I recognize it has been far too long since my last post. It's already February...I am constantly amazed at how the time passes so quickly and with Christmas, New Years, and a new school year starting for me it's been a bit busy. I won't go into detail of how wonderful all those things were as I wanted to write about something a little more on the serious side.

Honestly since the new year things have gone by so fast for our family. Peter was back to work in full force after his holidays, I was heading back to university twice a week and starting up teaching again, and also coping with the symptoms of 1st trimester pregnancy. Yes....I'm expecting AGAIN!!!!!

Peter and I are so excited that baby number two is already on the way. Honestly I feel SO blessed to be able to carry another child in my womb and that God has entrusted me with another precious gift. I wanted to write about something that is such a confirmation in our lives right now and that I've felt very strongly on my heart.

For those of you who don't know 3 years ago I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). Meaning my hormones were off and I had multiple cysts on my ovaries. I literally remember the day my doctor told me it was highly unlikely I'd ever be able to have children, or in the least part that it would be very difficult. I remember going home and crying and crying and crying. Being a mother was something I always wanted so deeply in my heart, I felt crushed, breathless. But as you know and can see Peter and I were blessed with our miracle baby Isaac Michael last year, and here we are again expecting our second in another 5 months.

I've had people tell me "You're only 21 years old, already married, one child, and another on the way....what about being young and enjoying these years? You're missing out...." Honestly I look at the them and with a genuine smile and heart I can say "I wouldn't change ANYTHING for the world". God has truly blessed me and I am eternally grateful for an amazing husband, a beautiful son, and another child on the way. I believe that God knows all things and all things work together for his purposes for those who love him. I love the Lord with all I am, and I think he knew that with my PCOS that having children for me had to be done at this young age. A part of me wonders if he knew that when I was 30 or older I wouldn't be able to have children, and that is why he has given me these gifts now. This revelation in my life has made me that much more appreciative and that much more confident in the things that are happening right now. Yes, finishing nursing will take a couple more years, but in the big picture what does that matter? At the end of the day everything comes down to love, and I can lay my head to rest and say with a Spirit of peace "Thank You Jesus for your perfect timing, for your plan, and for your blessings".

How is it possible that all I was told is that something couldn't happen? Yet, it did happen for me. The only answer I can come up with is to look above to the one who makes the impossible possible.

Miracles do happen. 

Isaac is living proof of that, and so is this beautiful baby growing inside me.