Comparison and the First Few Months

Hello Friends,

Can you believe it's nearing the end of 2018? Christmas has come and gone and we are heading into a new year. I've had many friends and family ask me about how the start of our homeschool journey has gone. I figured that I would write another post on the first few months before we say goodbye to 2018 and hello to 2019. Thanks for joining me in our journey and taking a step into our world.

To say that homeschooling has been exactly what I thought would be a lie. It has been so much more and then some. The first month of trying to get into a routine while I was finishing off work before I went on maternity leave was difficult. Our oldest two kids were starting Kindergarten and Grade 1 so neither one of them had attended school Monday to Friday. They didn't understand why they all of the sudden needed to start doing school work. Over the summer we read books, enjoyed family time, played with many friends and were outdoors a lot. So after a month of starting to regularly sit down and dive into the books and learning they both got comfortable with the idea that "okay, we home school and that means learning with mom at home on a regular basis".

October came quickly, I was 8 months pregnant with our fourth baby but we went full throttle into our learning knowing that there would be a week or two break after baby arrived and shortly after it would be Christmas. The kids really started to get the routine of learning at home. We found our rhythm and healthy mix of play, intentional sit down learning time, outdoor adventures and crafts! I also found my rhythm in the sense that no homeschool day looks exactly the same and that's okay and part of the beauty of doing it.

Many people have asked me: How do you do it Maryse? You have four kids now including a newborn, where do you find the time to teach your older two? Here's the simple answer: what we can accomplish in an hour and a half is what my child would accomplish in eight hours at school with 25 other kids in their class plus lunch time, recess etc. Homeschooling is not replicating the school system, if it was I'd just send my children to school. This was something I had to let go of and remind myself very early on. I needed to immediately stop comparing my children and the way we've chosen to educate them to the way it would be if they were in school. Again, this isn't about right or wrong at all it's about our choice of homeschooling and not putting unreal expectations on myself or my children based off of fear.

 If you are reading this and are in the homeschool community or thinking of homeschooling your children, or on the other hand if your kids are in the school system remind yourself: this is not a competition. We aren't meant to be comparing ourselves or our children with others. As mothers we can be so awful at this, believing the lie that every other mom has their lives more put together, that their homes are cleaner and that their kids are better behaved. Comparison steals joy. It isn't healthy and we don't need to put those unrealistic expectations on ourselves. Fellow moms, give yourself grace in your parenting. Homeschooling aside, if you are reading this remember that you are the very best mother for your children! You were chosen by God to be their mom, you are equipped because you have a very BIG God who loves you beyond all measure, who lives inside of you and will provide you with all your needs. He will fill in the gaps where you fall short, and in your weakness He is strong.

To wrap up, we are loving our time together as a family and this thing called homeschooling. I'm thankful that I haven't had to do school drop offs and pick ups five days a week with a newborn. I'm thankful for friends and family who have encouraged me on days where I'm overwhelmed and tired that it's okay to slow down, to stop and just be present with my kids. I'm thankful that quickly I'm learning to let go of unrealistic expectations, to stop comparing and just enjoy what's working for our family and our kids right now.

2019 is around the corner and I will continue to learn and grow in my journey of motherhood, parenting and homeschooling (as I know I have so much to learn). But right here, right now I'm at peace with a grateful and thankful heart for my children, for this transition to homeschooling, for a supportive husband, for healthy children, for an amazing church community, and for hope for an even better year ahead.

A late Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all.

Much love,

Maryse.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6 

Homeschooling

Our “Why” We Homeschool

As my husband and I start our homeschooling journey we have had many people ask us why we have decided to homeschool our children. I’ve gotten lots of initial reactions including “you’re so brave”, “you’re crazy”, “why would you do that?”, “won’t your kids miss out on social activities?”, “that’s so awesome”, “good for you guys”, and many more.

Ultimately this blog post is to simply share our heart with those who care or want to know why we have chosen to homeschool our children. I hope we can provide a little inspiration or encouragement to others who are starting their homeschool journey or considering diving into the world of homeschool.

Since our oldest son was about two years old I had a desire to possibly homeschool, but at that time it was far enough away that we didn’t put a lot of thought into it as a family. As the early preschool years passed quickly for our oldest two children my husband and I realized that the quote “the days are long, but the years are short” is actually so very true. We blinked and already had a six year old, five year old, one year old and the fourth baby on the way.  My husband and I don’t want to look back with regrets on raising our children or feel like we missed out on precious time with them, so for us homeschooling was one way in which we can spend more time together as a family. This is one of the first reasons we chose to homeschool: Time together.

The next reason we have chosen to homeschool is we believe that as parents we are able and equipped to teach our children. Somewhere I think we bought into a lie that the only right way to school our children is in a government school, and although there is nothing wrong with this and down the road there may be seasons in which our children are in school as well, but it isn’t the only right way to school children. God gave us our children with specific giftings, needs, learning styles, and in homeschooling we can help build character in our children, create an individual love for learning, and trust that we aren’t just “incapable parents”, but that we actually can teach our children. We believe that God will finish in our children what He has begun through us and that He will also equip us with what we need to teach our children and provide community and others along the way to help them become all that they were created to be.

Finally, the last reason we have chosen to homeschool our children is that we are raising our children in a society that teaches right is wrong and wrong is right in many areas. In many public schools our children are being taught that their feelings define them instead of turning towards the word of God and who He says they are. Children are being sexualized at extremely young ages and are children are taught that if they disagree with our culture that they are intolerant. As parents and Christians, we believe that our children are made in the image of God, that they are who God says they are and not who the world says they should be. We want to teach our children truth with love and yes to protect them from some very sad things going on in the schools today. No gardener takes a small seed or sprout and puts it into a large garden in the middle of the storm and says “survive, I don’t want to shelter you too much”. In fact, a smart gardener would water the seed, fertilize it, cover it from the elements, keep it inside until it is mature enough to survive in a large garden outside. If we care so much for plants, then how much more important is protecting our children and sheltering them from some very corrupt things taking place until they are mature and able to stand firm. In no way am I saying that public school is all bad or that no parent should send their child there, but I am saying that as Christians we should especially be seeking God and asking Him what He has for our children and families. For us in this season we believe God is equipping us and calling us to homeschool and we are so excited about the journey, time together, and fun we are going to have learning and growing together.

Last year we attended our first Homeschool Conference in Red Deer, Alberta in preparation for the upcoming school year and they encouraged each family to have a Mission Statement that encompasses their “Why”. This is something that we will turn to on difficult days and on days in which we ask ourselves “Why am I doing this again?” Homeschooling isn’t for the faint of heart, it’s not going to be an easy road and some days will be overwhelming, exhausting and hard. So here is the mission statement for our family:

We seek to know God and grow in our relationship with Him, to love others as He has loved us, to serve our community and neighbours, to be kind, and to equip our children to leave the nest with a passion for Christ and the self-confidence to chase their unique dreams.

Both pictures because it's really hard to get all five of us in the frame and looking at the same time! Real life =)