Instead of hiding behind a face of strength when I feel weak I've decided to stand up on my two trembling feet and face the truth about how I'm feeling. This morning was one of those days. I didn't want to kiss my kids goodbye in the morning and I didn't want to walk away in my own frustration. As I drove to my clinical placement I put on some worship music and prayed to the God who gives me strength when I have none. I finally found some peace among the chaos and was reminded that I'm never alone in this life and that I don't need to have it all together every day. It's okay to feel weak. I am human, I am a sinner and I am constantly in need of His grace. I am loved, I am a child of the King and I am strong because He lives in me. On my own I can't do anything, but with Him I can do all things. I can face the future with strength and joy. I don't need to feel guilt and I'm not failing my kids by going to school. He doesn't just walk with me through the meadows and streams of fresh water but he walks with me through the valley and sometimes he even picks me up and just carries me. For this I am grateful, for this I am blessed.
When you feel inadequate remember He is adequate, when you feel weak remember that in your weakness He is strong, and when you feel like falling to the ground remember He will pick you up and carry you. I recognize that today was a blessing in disguise, a reminder that I am not in control and that I don't need to worry about being the perfect mother. I just need to be an honest mother, a loving mother, a caring mother, and be a mother who can admit to myself and my kids that I do mess up and make mistakes and through this I can teach my kids that when they too face days like this they can run to the arms of Jesus and find the same peace, grace and strength I found today.
Forever grateful that God is in control, that God is love, and that I am never alone.
"Strength and Dignity are her clothing, she can laugh in the face of the future"
