I am reminded today why I am so blessed to have children. I can say first hand it's not easy having two children under the age of 18 months, but it is so worth it. With sleepless nights, crying and tears, tantrums, and most often a dirty house it can get overwhelming at times. But with that also come the joy of little feet running down the hall, two little smiles that brighten up any day, giggles and laughter, little hands that reach up to me for a hug and snuggles, and small coos that make me melt.
Motherhood is hard, anyone who says its easy is fooling you. It's plain hard and messy. I'm only 22 years old and as I've said before many think I've given up on the joys of being young. It's true, I don't go out late anymore and if I do it's rare and usually means spending $50 before I even leave the house on a babysitter, I can't just randomly decide to go to a movie with my husband or friends, it takes a lot of planning, but this is all okay with me. I'm reminded that these little hands, little feet, little hearts, and two little children call me "Mother" and that to me is joy. I won't take that for granted for one day of this life I live.
I've learnt so much through being a parent about love, about sacrifice, about my need for self control, about trusting in The Lord, about patience, and about surrender. Often when we ask God for things like joy, strength, comfort or whatever it may be we think he doesn't answer or doesn't just give it to us. But I believe God gives us these things in many different ways, so take a look around and maybe the answer to your prayers is right in front of you.
When I look at my children, I know I have a lot to learn about being a mother and I also know I'll never be perfect. I'll make mistakes, I'll raise my voice, and I'll do the wrong thing sometimes. But by the Grace of God I will continue to grow and ultimately through this journey I will become more like Jesus and lead a life and example that gives Him the praise and glory.
I asked God for strength, and He made me weak so that I may rely on Him
I asked God for joy and He gave me the gift of motherhood so I may learn to humble myself before Him
I asked God for wisdom and He led me to His word so I may become more obedient and a better example to my children
I asked God for freedom and He pointed me to the cross
I asked God for love and He stretched out his arms for me and took His last breath
I asked God for patience and He gave me two children who need love and nurturing
I asked God for peace and He took away my shame with the sound of His name.
And then I stood in awe of the King of Kings, my provider, the lover of my soul and all I could say was Thank You. Thank you for giving me exactly what I need when I don't even know what I need myself. You O God are faithful, and I place my trust in you. Thank you for my children: the little hands and little feet. In my weakness and failures help me to be the best mom I can be.
